How to work like a Woman
by aparnamalladi
I met a young man today who wanted to work with me an assistant director for ‘The Anushree Experiments’ and I asked him a very clichéd question – ‘Are you ok working for a woman director?’ and he asked me what the difference was. That got me thinking.
How does one work like a woman and how does it differ from how a man works?
I think, a man works by occupying space. By making his presence felt. In fact, in my early film making days, I worked on many a shoot that were helmed by women and they worked just like their male counterparts. They made their presence felt, they got their power by occupying space. I learnt to do the same from them.
When I made my own films, I pretty much had the same modus operandi. I realized that it felt alien and was very effort full. In short, it was not feminine. I feared that being feminine would mean a loss of power on set and then all hell would break loose and that would end my stint as a filmmaker.
Slowly however, I realized that being feminine was not about being a delicate flower or being a bitch, but about holding space. A woman holds space in which magical things can happen. Like babies, marriage and even films. A woman’s presence is invisible. All she needs to do is hold her vision and let the film happen. It requires a lot of trust and letting go knowing fully well that it will come out great the other end.
This brought the whole issue of communication to the forefront. I learnt to communicate my vision and to acknowledge. That is how I would regulate the quality of what occurs in the space I hold. That is how I would regulate the quality of my film and enjoy the creativity that enters my film set.
The whole process allowed me to be feminine and effortless. Someone once told me that when I drop the sword, all the men around me will pick it up to protect me. That my vulnerability is my power and that it will be guarded by everyone around me. It took a long time to put it into practice.
Why don’t they tell you that when you are in school so you can start early on. All this reinventing the wheel business is so tedious!
Happy,
Aparna
Yo who are you?? Interesting stuff. Can I read your screen play??
Vamsee, I am a filmmaker. Thanks for reading the blog. I am presently in getting my film in place at the moment and can’t share the screenplay yet. Keep checking the site and before you know it you can see the film.
Aparna
This understanding of yours is such a revelation! The modern times are fraught with cliched feminists who talk of the fight and struggle, about matching up, but its about co-existence and knowing the mettle that is the feminine energy. It has a role and it fits in, but it is immense hard work to trust your innate instincts and undo years of conditioning that tells you otherwise. Kudos to you! you are past the point of doubt
love.
Neha,
It was a revelation for me as well when I realized it. I think we can be feminists [50 / 50, equal etc.] without doing and being everything that men do and be. We can be equal with being equal [If that makes any sense!]. May be it’s time we redefined feminism. The old definition worked for us to get this far, but it is now outdated and we need the next upgrade.
Thanks for being with me on my journey of discovery!
Love,
Aparna